What?
by super manako sohma
Summary: Kenny listens to an awkward conversation in the back of the band bus. Maybe Style.


Mana here. Ok, just so you don't get your hopes up, this is coming from someone who has absolutely no _experience_ whatsoever. I'm going waaaaaaaaaaay out of my comfort zone here. o////o I'm seriously…this could be utter crap, so I'm warning you. What in buggery triggered me to do this, I don't know. Just don't expect any good from this.

What?

The bus came to a bump and I was immediately shaken awake. Damn, I hate bus rides. I don't even remember where we're going, but I know it's pretty far. I gaze down at my stuff on the floor; I hope I brought enough clothes for this trip, but then again, I don't really have a lot of clothes. I shift from my side onto my back, staring at the ceiling of the bus. I love having a seat all to myself, especially near the back.

The sun was still a little bit bright in the sky, but I was debating whether to go back to sleep or not. I sat up and leaned over to the seat in front of me, where Butters and Tweek were sitting together.

"Hey," I breathed on Butters's neck. I wasn't trying to hit on him; it was just a hot little game I liked to play with him and the best part is he doesn't know what the hell's going on.

"Mornin' Sleepy Head," he smiled, obviously not ruffled by my act. I love his child-like innocence.

"How much longer 'till we're there?" I asked sweetly.

"Well, Teacher said it's about four hours more until we arrive at our hotel."

I thanked him and lied back down on my bus seat. Might as well catch up on some more sleep before we arrive. It's not like I'm gonna sleep at all at the hotel anyway heh, heh.

I closed my eyes, trying to fall back to sleep, but it was so hard to do since everyone kept talking. I just wanna yell "SHUT UP" to everyone, but I was cooler than that. So then I just decided to secretly listen to conversations, just to see what's interesting. You could actually pick up some pretty sweet stuff if you concentrated on one person. And besides, I figured I could find myself a hot broad to nail tonight through this eaves dropping. But when I tried, most of them were pretty boring. That is, until I began hearing stuff from Stan and Kyle in the seat behind me.

"You mean you've never tried before?" I heard Stan ask Kyle.

"Nope, never."

"Virgin," Stan teased. I closed my eyes and decided that this might be a little conversation worth listening to.

"Wanna try?" I heard Stan ask Kyle again.

"I dunno, Mr. Garrison will totally kill us if he finds out I'm—"

"It's ok, no one needs to find out. Why do you think I saved us a seat in the back?"

Kyle giggled. "Ok, ok, fine. But let's go on the floor, just in case."

"You're really that scared, huh?"

"I just don't wanna get in trouble."

I felt Stan shrug.

"Everyone does it; it's not that big a deal. And you always said you wanted to try it, so why not?"

"Well I kinda meant…you know…at like your house or something. But I guess it's ok."

Ok, suddenly my ears perked up. I've always had my suspicion about those two, and they say a class trip is always a good time for experimenting. I focused my attention then solely to the seat behind me. Then I heard Stan unzip something and a bunch of cloth moving. I froze.

"Whoa that thing's huge!" I heard Kyle exclaim.

"I know, right?" Stan said smugly.

"I don't think I'll be able to do anything with it…it's so big."

"Yeah, I know it's a lot bigger than you're used to but you'll be fine."

"I dunno, it's like...how am I supposed to finger this? My hands are too small."

"Finger?" Stan laughed, "You don't really finger it very much, you just need to be good with your mouth."

"Stan, you know how weak I am with my mouth. I'm not like you."

"Just try, ok? You'll be fine, I promise."

I had a vague idea what was going on. I smiled widely, thankful that no one else can see. My ears wandered around my vicinity of the bus, wondering if anyone else has picked up on their conversation. I don't think anyone has. I guess it's kinda sweet, I get this hot little moment all to myself.

"Alright, put it to your mouth." I heard Stan say.

"Like this?"

"Yeah, now just lick the tip a little. It's easier when it's wet."

My eyes widened. Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod.

"Ugh, it's all hard and it tastes weird."

"Yeah sorry about that," Stan said, and I could tell he was blushing from his voice.

It was silent for a while until Stan spoke again.

"Put your hand around the base here and this hand goes on top," he instructed.

"So I finger it with this hand?"

"Yeah, but only a little bit. As I said, it's all about your mouth."

"Ok then," Kyle said. Then I began to hear him gasp for air, followed by abrupt stops. I heard more air going out, which I assumed was Stan's doing. Sounds like he's having a good time.

"No, you're not doing it right!" Stan snapped, stopping Kyle's breathing. "You have to vibrate your lips a little."

"WHAT? How the fuck do I do that?"

Damn. I didn't know Stan had it in him. I kinda felt bad for Kyle, having Stan pushing him so hard like that. If he's a first timer I figured Stan would be a little bit nicer. I mean, I would show mercy and be less demanding if I were giving Kyle his first time. I could hear Kyle taking gasps of air in the background which became abruptly halted when he…er…you know. I think.

"Eww it's leaking!" Kyle suddenly gasped.

I held in a laugh. Kyle's so cute sometimes.

"Well what do you expect after blowing it for so long? Of course it's gonna leak."

"But it's getting all over me! I don't wanna be covered in your—"

"Here, just put your finger on the end here and blow really hard."

Wait, what? Kyle did as Stan told him, but then I felt my seat jerk and Kyle hitting the wall of the bus.

"OH MY GOD GROSS STAN!!" He gasped.

Stan laughed loudly.

"Here, let's wipe it off," he giggled.

"Don't wipe it with my sweater, you dick!"

"Well we can't just let it leak on the floor, that's disgusting."

"Oh _that's_ disgusting? I don't want this stuff touching me."

"Too late," Stan smirked, followed by an exasperated scream from Kyle.

"Don't you have a cloth or something?" Kyle asked him.

"Kyle, I deal with this all the time. Just because yours doesn't spill out like mine, doesn't mean its something gross."

"Well why don't you just wipe it with _your_ sleeve?"

"Look Kyle, Kenny's is a thousand times bigger than mine, and he doesn't mind wiping it—"

That's my cue. Upon hearing my name I shot up in my seat quickly and turned around to face them. I love being brought up in conversation, especially regarding something as hot as this.

"Hey you two, I heard my name," I smirked, "sounds like fun down there."

I looked down at them, expecting to find them in a "position." I was always good at making things awkward; it's what I lived for. However I found them fully clothed with Stan's trumpet out on Kyle's lap and a pool of spit, assuming coming from Stan's instrument, on the floor seeping onto Kyle's clothes. My heart sank fast.

"Oh," I sighed.

"Dude, don't tell Mr. Garrison I was trying to play Stan's trumpet," Kyle pleaded, hastily storing it back in its Getzen case. "You know how he feels about people playing other peoples' instruments."

"It's fine," I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, and Kenny?" Stan asked, "do you think we could use your cloth?"

I opened my trombone case and took out the cloth that came with it; it was pretty much the size of a dish rag, seeing as my instrument is so big. I took pride in the largeness of my instrument, because then I could say to Stan and Kyle that I was hornier and bigger than both of them combined, heh, heh. Gotta love band humor.

"Here, go crazy," I tossed my cloth half-heartedly at the two, who put it to use immediately.

But seriously, I am so tired of being disappointed. I joined band because I heard rumors that they get the most action. There are terms regarding the instruments that just make me crazy. And during night trips on the band bus I hear couples start to get pretty heated and everything, and well, that just made me really excited. I was hoping to see/get some action during this trip, especially with Stan and Kyle. That would've been pretty hot…wow, what a disappointment. I swear, once the season's over, I'm so quitting band.

XX

Hah….I just pissed a lot of people off now. I used to be in marching band (colorguard to be exact) but I quit when I transferred schools. So if you're in band, you know where I'm coming from. And by the way, (don't hate me, band kids!) the reason I chose to play violin back in third grade was because of this. I didn't wanna deal with spitty instruments. But I love the violin now =D


End file.
